Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
