I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
