we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
