I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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