i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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