i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
