we have officially lost it.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
