tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
