just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
