Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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