Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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