let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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