he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
