she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
