I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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