I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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