You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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