got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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