I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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