In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
