I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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