I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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