But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
