I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
