how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
