But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
