people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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