Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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