sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
