So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize