Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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