I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
