is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
