Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
