i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
