He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
