so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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