It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize