Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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