The maid of honor just puked.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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