another moral hangover. fuck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
