I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
