Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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