great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
