It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's never too late to be topless.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
