weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize