Don't you send me to vm
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
