im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
