did you get engaged???
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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