Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
