i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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