google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
