Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
