The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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