If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
