I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
