hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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