are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
